Sometimes, despite your best efforts at reframing your perspectives or attitudes to stay positive, some days (or weeks) just don’t go your way. That was last week for me. Things just weren’t working out…some communication seemed to get muddled, I felt like the hours I was plugging into work were going into a black hole and all my door-knocking felt like it was simply falling on deaf ears.
Simply believing that things will work out has always been very hard for me to do, probably for the same reasons that I’m terrified of flying or am such a horrible backseat driver: I hate not having control or a feeling of efficacy in any given situation. The philosophies and ideals that have always resonated most with me are all about free will: whether it’s Cal’s ability to overcome what seemed like the inherent evil in him in East of Eden or William James’ philosophies that helped him overcome recurring bouts of depression, I’m a big believer in determining what you want and simply making it happen, in spite of what your perceived limitations might be. While that’s helped me achieve a number of my big goals in life, sometimes constantly pushing to hit certain achievements within certain time frames with little to no self-compassion when it comes to failing can also be incredibly exhausting.
There are times (like when you’re on a plane, or when you’ve sent out an important email/application and simply need to wait for a response) that the power is simply not in your hands. You need to just let things be. And this week, though it may go against my grain, I think I need to just focus on new ideas and projects and let the other ones develop as they will. And since I’m giving myself a break, I feel like this is a pretty opportune moment to remind all of you to be a bit more lenient with yourselves if and when it’s needed too – for some reason, I find so many other girls in my generation are just as hard on themselves as I am, and really, we’re all going to look back on all this worrying and self-criticsm when we’re 80-years-old and think “what a waste of time.” So like Bobby McFerrin advises, “don’t worry, be happy!” Simple yet succinct.
Another thing: don’t forget about the “little things” when you’re focused more than ever on the “big things.” I haven’t bought a new lipstick, treated myself to a mani or even done an at-home facial in weeks, and those are the things that inexplicably boost my happiness so much. That’s why the arrival of a lovely little present from my stunning fellow blogger Kate of O My Heart! could not be better timed. Kate not only has a blog that is chock-full of glam-yet-approachable style inspiration, but she’s also got a beautiful Etsy shop that is filled with covet-worthy pieces like this lovely rope bracelet with an anchor charm. Perfect for layering!
And speaking of jewelry, don’t forget to enter my INPINK giveaway! Today’s the last day to enter and if you haven’t read my previous posts about it, aside from the 30 winners who score $30 online vouchers, everyone who enters will win $15! It’s easy-as-can-be to enter so simply hop on over before the contest closes!
Perspective is everything 😉 Looking beautiful as always in these shots, loving the scenery!
xo K
http://www.lilieslattesandlace.com
I totally understand where you are coming from. These days I have been doing a lot of waiting for things to fall into place. Sometimes it's slower then you'd like it to be but I deeply believe things will work itself out and what was meant to be was meant to be. I've been applying to countless number of jobs hoping for some kind of hint that someone somewhere is reading cover letter and resume. It's hard when you feel like everything that you put time into falls on deaf ears. But then things start to happen and you realize all your efforts weren't in vain.
Anyway I hope everything works out for you and things work itself out.
I love this look! great layering as usual!
http://fashionistanygirl.blogspot.com/
Completely agree with these sentiments and I have the same problem – I blame my type A perfectionistic personality…but I've gotten better with age!
Love this outfit – all the layers, the striped scarf & those textured tights 🙂
http://www.pennypincherfashion.com
1. I love this outfit. That dress suits you so wonderfully.
2. I love Kate's blog! And that anchor bracelet is too cute.
3. I know exactly what you mean about determining what you want and making it happen. I hate having to wait for things to work out. I like to be able to simply do things and get them done.
4. Thank you for the reminder to take a break and go easy on ourselves. I think we all need to be told that once in awhile.
I hate not being in control of what's going on with my projects, school, work etc. It is very frustrating but sometimes you have no other choice but to let go, even though it's hard. Doing little things for yourself definitely helps!!
This outfit is so gorgeous, I love all your layers! Perfectly done and this blue colour is so great on you
xJennaD
Perspective is everything, pally – we all get trapped in these same emotional cycles but the truth is, sometimes you just have to live on someone else's schedule, no matter how lame that seems. Keep your head up, and always know you look gorgeous even when nothing else is going your way 🙂
xox,
Cee
My favorite scarf of yours! 🙂
I also ordered some Jurlique Face Oil-via your recommendation…can't wait to try it!
Love From,
Eat Cake
You have such a beautiful smile! Love your look!
XOXO
Elizabeth E~
I completely agree with you.. Sometimes you just have to let go.. And give things time coz you have no control over it…
Love ur dress and the bracelets are beautiful!!
Love
Mehak
http://Www.thedoublemlife.blogspot.com
you look gorgeous as always. Love the dress + jacket.
I'm so with you. I am very much the type to like to always be in control but in the past few months, I've been at a different place in life and have learned to successfully let go and realize that I can not control or change everything. It's been very freeing to my mind and soul to finally be in this place.
Such a great look, I love that scarf! 🙂
I agree, it's so important to just let go and trust.
-Haylie
Love the outfit! I am in the same boat as you right now. I've put myself out there and sent what feels like a million resumes and applications out. It's incredibly hard to stay positive, but a motto I keep in the back of my head when I'm anxiously waiting for something… "good things come to those who wait."
-Alex (yep, my name too haha)
I am an extreme control freak as well. I get very anxious waiting for something and can even become very down when my axieties hit. It's so hard to keep things in perspective, but you need to remember that everything does happen for a reason. Another go to I use to up my mood: working out.
You still look gorgeous! I love your scarf
xoxo Sarah Beth
Caring Cowls
alex – loved this post. i, personally, feel like social media, the blogging world and the media at large has played into the "must be all, do all and look perfect whilst doing it" mentality so many 20 and 30-somethings have now. i feel that it has to do with comparing ones life to the outward appearance of everyone's "perfect" version of their life. sometimes, it feels as if we are just spinning our wheels for no good… until, something good does happen, and we forget why we were so stressed about it.
i think that we also forget how much determination is involved in getting exactly what we want – i also blame this on the above because we always see others results without the hard work. at the end of the day, controlling everything is a) not possible b) not healthy and c) doesn't always heed the results we want! i used to be the same way, but have weened myself off of it, reminding myself that the chips will fall where they may, and disappointment only makes success so much sweeter. chin up, my dear and persevere! x
I needed to read this today, Alexandra. This was perfect. Thanks so much for your insight.
Also, I love the layers in your outfit. You look great as always. Be well.
nialangleyspeaks.blogspot.com
http://www.facebook.com/NiaLangley1
I love the ruffled hem on your dress!
http://www.daisyraeboutique.com
http://www.kacieskloset.blogspot.com
Cute dress ! Love those tights too !
My Blog – A Pretty Nest
I wish i could layer more in Souther California, your layering lately has been divine!
i think i can relate…a tough week indeed.
You look so gorgeous. I am in love with your layers and your lovely handbag.
http://shannonhearts.blogspot.com/
Sometimes it's the little things that do make you feel like you have more control during a tough time! The jewelry looks great and I love your dress. The blue color and subtle ruffle are so chic.
-Erin-
OneTwoSummer
Im a bit of a control freak myself – I know what you are going through. Hang in there.
All that aside, I love this outfit – especially all the layers.
♥ xoxo Cori
http://www.purecanesugarfashion.wordpress.com
I am a bit of a control freak.:) I love the double scarves!! And your lip color is very pretty.
xoAmy
http://www.dreamingincashmere.com
Ooooh, I love the mix of deep blue and bright green – so pretty!
Enter to win a statement cuff from ManEater – international giveaway!
Trendy Teal
dynamite! love love love the color blend! crave for your bag too :p
http://www.thevirtualescape.com
I've had similar feelings as of late but plan to take this upcoming Thanksgiving break to do just that, take a break! Lovely words of wisdom!
xo, Kenzie
http://www.CaveGirlintheCity.com
ps I love that anchor bracelet!
we all have those kind of weeks i think 😉 love the outfit – scarf adds such a nice detail x
steph / absolutely-fuzzy.com
love the green Minkoff bag! chain detailed purses are awesome!
xx
Jen
http://www.jennyscribbles.com
I have the same issue. Sometimes I want things to work out so badly that I find it hard let go and patiently wait after all the hard work is done, but in the end, taking that moment to breathe is always worth it.
I love the way you layer your looks – it's so effortless!
Kate xo petite-adventures.blogspot.ca